Scheduling Intimacy in Polyamorous Relationships
In contemporary society, the dynamics of relationships are evolving, as evidenced by the experiences of Kel Macettare and Bruno Cordisco, a polyamorous couple from Brazil. High school sweethearts who are now married with two sons, Henry and Hector, they exemplify how non-traditional structures can lead to fulfilling family lives. Central to their unique arrangement is a meticulously coordinated calendar that governs not only daily chores but also intimate interactions. By balancing time among four partners—Kel and Bruno alongside Diego Machado and Jennifer de Faria—the group maintains clarity and harmony, creating a well-structured family environment.
The couple’s journey into polyamory began at a swingers’ club, which opened doors to new encounters and relationships. They soon expanded their family dynamic, with Machado living in their home and de Faria joining them on weekends. This lifestyle choice necessitates thoughtful planning, leading them to incorporate a family calendar that tracks responsibilities and personal time. The calendar serves as an organizational tool to ensure that everyone’s needs are met while fostering a sense of togetherness among both couples and their children during the week.
Weekdays are reserved for Kel and Bruno’s relationship, allowing them to focus on nurturing their bond. This routine builds anticipation for the weekends, when they spend time with their respective partners. Cordisco notes the intensity of their connection, emphasizing the importance of quality time together. The structure not only enhances their intimacy but also invigorates their overall relationship, ensuring that they remain engaged and emotionally connected. This focused approach to their romantic and familial commitments nurtures a sense of anticipation, enriching their emotional lives week by week.
However, as with any relationship structure, challenges arose. Macettare expressed feelings of being sidelined as their arrangement expanded. Realizing that maintaining a healthy balance was crucial, they implemented the “sex calendar,” a compromise aimed at promoting equality among the partners. By organizing their interactions, they improved communication and ensured that their emotional and physical connections remained strong. This scheduling strategy ultimately helped them navigate the complexities of their relationships while remaining attentive to one another’s needs.
The method of scheduling intimacy is not unique to Macettare and Cordisco; similar practices have emerged among other couples. Jay and Sofia Lyons from New York City emphasize the benefits of planning sexual encounters, asserting that it has significantly strengthened their marriage. Jay, an Emmy-winning director, describes sex as the "glue" in their relationship, reinforcing emotional bonds and mitigating conflicts. This proactive approach has paved the way for appreciation and special moments in their marriage, further solidifying the idea that intentionality in relationships can lead to greater satisfaction.
In conclusion, the experiences of polyamorous couples like Macettare and Cordisco, along with other examples, illustrate that innovative practices can foster healthy relationships. By prioritizing communication and implementing structured schedules, they create pathways to intimacy that accommodate the complexities of modern relationship dynamics. These couples demonstrate that whether through calendars or intentional plans, nurturing connections—both emotional and physical—remains a cornerstone of satisfactory partnership in a shifting cultural landscape.
