In today’s fast-paced world, it’s not uncommon for couples to struggle to find time for intimacy amidst their busy schedules. The challenge of balancing work obligations and family responsibilities can lead to exhaustion, making the thought of sex feel daunting rather than desirable. To navigate this reality, some couples are embracing what has been dubbed the “Cinderella rule,” a strategy designed to keep the spark alive without overwhelming either partner. This approach emphasizes the importance of setting both boundaries and scheduling intimate moments to foster a more balanced relationship.
According to Alice Giddings, a sex and relationships reporter for Metro, the Cinderella rule is all about establishing a clear time frame for intimacy. Giddings herself has adopted a personal “cut-off” time, which she has set at 10:30 p.m., ensuring that both she and her partner know when the opportunity for intimacy must end. This approach not only alleviates anxiety about being too tired the following day but also provides a playful anticipation leading up to that cut-off. By subtly giving hints throughout the day that intimacy could be on the agenda, couples can foster a connection that culminates in a shared experience, enhancing their relationship.
Couples like Jay and Sofia Lyons have found success with this method, crediting it with strengthening their marriage over the past 31 years. They began scheduling intimate moments shortly after their marriage and the arrival of their children. Jay Lyons noted that integrating intimacy into their calendar was a significant improvement, describing it as the “glue” that keeps their relationship strong. The consistent physical connection seems to contribute positively to their emotional bond, making it challenging to breach the connection between them.
Even in the realm of celebrity, the trend of scheduling intimate time is making waves. Public figures such as Jenna Bush Hager and Amy Schumer have openly discussed the benefits of designating specific times for sexual encounters. For instance, Nick and Vanessa Lachey have humorously labeled Wednesday as their official “hump day,” showcasing how this structured intimacy can even become a light-hearted highlight in their week. The normalization of this practice among high-profile individuals underscores the idea that maintaining intimacy doesn’t solely rely on spontaneous moments, especially for those who may also lead busy lives.
Virginia Sadock, the director of the human sexuality program at NYU Langone Health, reinforces the notion that spontaneity isn’t the only pathway to satisfying sexual relationships. She argues that the romanticized versions of sex often portrayed in movies can create unrealistic expectations. Couples juggling demanding careers and familial roles often find it necessary to be more pragmatic about their intimate lives. Scheduling sex can serve as a practical solution, allowing couples to thrive in both their sexual and emotional lives.
Ultimately, the Cinderella rule exemplifies a modern approach to intimacy that emphasizes both communication and intention. By setting boundaries and scheduling time for sex, couples can nurture their relationships while minimizing stress and fatigue. This method not only fosters anticipation but also promotes a healthier, more connected partnership. In a world where chaos often reigns, the deliberate act of scheduling intimacy can be a game-changer, making it easier for couples to enjoy the benefits of a fulfilling sexual life alongside their everyday responsibilities.
