Dating coach Kelsey Wonderlin has learned from counseling 200 clients over three years that many people care about their potential mate’s income. Clients, mostly women in finance, often express a desire for a partner who can match their lifestyle. While evaluating someone based on salary may seem superficial, how they spend their money can provide insight into their values and priorities. It is important to discuss these matters early on in a relationship, but asking about salary on a first date is generally considered inappropriate.
Instead of directly asking about income, Wonderlin suggests posing more subtle questions to gauge your date’s financial habits and priorities. Asking “What do you like to spend your money on?” can reveal whether your date shares similar priorities with you. For example, someone who enjoys traveling may have different financial goals compared to someone who prefers to splurge on the latest gadgets. It is important to consider not just the amount of money someone earns, but also how they choose to manage and spend it, as differences in financial values can cause tension in a relationship.
If you prefer to be more straightforward about your financial expectations, it is important to communicate your non-negotiables early on in a relationship. For example, you can express that financial stability is crucial for you, and then elaborate on your own financial habits and values. While some may be put off by such directness, it is essential to establish open communication about money early on to ensure compatibility. Finding a partner who aligns with your financial values can help prevent conflicts in the future and create a stronger foundation for the relationship.
Discussing money early on in a relationship may help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts down the road. While it is important to consider financial compatibility, it is also crucial to approach the topic with sensitivity and tact. Wonderlin recommends asking subtle questions about spending habits and priorities to assess compatibility without directly discussing salary. By being transparent about your own financial values and non-negotiables, you can establish a strong foundation for a healthy and mutually supportive relationship. Open communication about money can help build trust and understanding between partners, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
