In a world where relationships are often assessed through superficial measures, the age-old question posed by children about finding “the one” holds greater significance today. The Biblical narrative in Genesis 24 provides timeless wisdom through the story of Abraham’s servant Eliezer searching for a wife for Isaac. Eliezer’s mission is clear: to find someone from Haran, a culture open to God’s influence. This establishes the first vital characteristic to seek in a partner: position. An ideal spouse should come from an environment conducive to faith and values.
Upon arriving in Haran, Eliezer soon meets Rebecca, whose physical beauty captures his attention as trait number two. However, it is her act of generosity—drawing water for both him and his camels—that solidifies her as a suitable match. This generous spirit represents the third essential trait for a lasting relationship. Eliezer’s decision based on only these three attributes emphasizes the importance of character over mere appearance or wealth in assessing compatibility.
As the narrative unfolds, we learn that Rebecca is informed about Isaac’s wealth and godly character before she agrees to marry him. The Biblical account succinctly states, “Isaac married her. She became his wife. And he loved her.” This sequence underscores a profound truth: marital love is cultivated through commitment and acts of caring, rather than simply being a romantic whim. The essence of love in Hebrew linguistics supports this notion; the word “ahava”—meaning love—roots from “hav,” meaning to give.
Modern society often contradicts this Biblical approach, promoting the idea that love is something that magically occurs rather than a product of dedication and effort. The tendency to delay marriage and engage in casual dating has led to rising rates of infertility and a cultural “sexual recession,” indicating a disconnection from deep emotional engagements. This pattern of testing compatibility through extended dating periods has been shown to backfire, with studies revealing basic incompatibility as the primary reason for divorce among couples.
Given these contemporary challenges, we must heed the Biblical wisdom on marriage. Instead of relying on extensive compatibility checklists that often focus on inconsequential preferences, we should encourage a focus on core traits that nurture a loving foundation. What makes more significant sense in relationships is shared values, faith, and generosity—all critical components that support long-term happiness.
In conclusion, the framework provided by the story of Isaac and Rebecca presents an effective guide for navigating relationships today. Recognizing and prioritizing essential traits could lead young couples to joyful and fulfilling marriages. Mark Gerson’s upcoming book, “God Was Right: How Modern Social Science Proves the Torah Is True,” seeks to reaffirm these age-old principles, demonstrating their relevance and power in modern relationships. Thus, we are reminded that love is an evolving commitment rather than a fleeting emotion, inviting us to cultivate it intentionally.
