Wedding etiquette is a hot topic that often divides public opinion. While some debate issues like guests wearing white or whether children should be allowed at wedding festivities, a significant discussion has emerged around the expectation of gifting when attending a wedding. This conversation gained traction after TikTok creator Alizé Ruiz, known as @alizeruiz_, posted a humorous video reflecting on her own wedding experience. She shared that out of 120 attendees, only 12 cards and 4 gifts were received. Her remarks sparked a wave of commentary regarding basic wedding norms, prompting many to express shock at what they perceived as a lack of courtesy from wedding guests.
The majority of responses to Ruiz’s video leaned toward agreement with her stance on gift-giving. Many commenters echoed the belief that attending a wedding without a gift—whether it be a card or a tangible present—is a breach of etiquette and common courtesy. Comments like, “Anytime someone invites you anywhere, you bring something PERIOD” and “I would die of embarrassment if I didn’t bring a gift to a wedding” illustrate a strong consensus among those who feel that guests have a responsibility to honor the couple with a gesture of goodwill, particularly considering the celebratory nature of the event.
However, not everyone shares this viewpoint. Alongside the supportive voices were numerous dissenters who defended those who do not bring gifts. Some argued that simply attending a wedding is a gift in itself, suggesting that the presence of guests should be valued over material offerings. Comments like, “You invited them for their presence and they came” point toward a growing sentiment that weddings should be seen as celebrations rather than “gift extortion events.” This divergence in opinion highlights a generational shift in perceptions of social etiquette and obligations.
As the debate unfolded, many sought clarity on the appropriate amount to gift when attending a wedding. For those in favor of gift-giving, the prevailing suggestion seemed to be a minimum of $100, with some advocating for amounts that would at least cover the cost of the guest’s participation in the wedding. A breakdown from wedding website Zola outlines a guideline where distant relatives or coworkers are encouraged to give between $50 to $100, while closer friends and family should consider spending $100 to $150 or more, depending on their connection to the couple and the wedding’s overall expenses.
Compounding the discussion, Ruiz’s experience illuminated deeper issues surrounding guest RSVP etiquette. Several commentators criticized the apparent lack of awareness about basic wedding customs, emphasizing that many people seem uninformed about how to properly participate in such celebrations. The backlash against those without gifts highlighted a widespread concern that societal norms regarding graciousness and consideration are eroding, particularly among younger generations. This shift has raised questions about whether guests truly understand their responsibilities when invited to special occasions.
In conclusion, the topic of wedding gifts has sparked a lively debate on social media, revealing contrasting opinions on what is expected of guests. While many believe that a gift—regardless of value—is a necessary part of the wedding experience, others advocate for a redefinition of what constitutes participation in a wedding’s celebration. Ultimately, this discourse serves as a reflection of broader societal changes in perceptions of etiquette, generosity, and the meaning of togetherness during significant life events. The ongoing discussions could encourage greater awareness of not just wedding customs but also the need for mutual respect and understanding in social gatherings.
