Deciding to freeze her eggs was a process that took two years of consideration for the writer. During this time, she sought advice from women who had already undergone the procedure and was warned about a common side effect: bloating. However, once she began the process, she found that she didn’t care about her appearance as much as she thought she would. This realization led her to reflect on a childhood memory that emphasized her early obsession with body image and food.
The writer’s earliest memory involves a third birthday party where actors dressed as Aladdin and Jasmine were present. She idolized Jasmine due to the lack of Middle Eastern beauty representation, but a comment made by the actress portraying Jasmine stuck with her. The actress expressed excitement over cucumbers instead of cake, leading the writer to believe that prioritizing cucumbers over cake was the key to looking like Jasmine. This memory highlights the writer’s early struggles with body image and food, which continued into her late teens and early twenties.
As an adult, the writer has worked on feeling more comfortable in her body and being less critical of herself. However, the negative seed planted in her childhood never fully went away. Leading up to her egg freezing cycle, she was anxious about how she would feel about her appearance during the process. Despite initial concerns, she unexpectedly embraced her body mentally, physically, and emotionally during the egg freezing journey. The injections, doctor’s appointments, and physical limitations actually made her feel strong and grateful for her body’s resilience.
Throughout the two-week egg freezing process, the writer injected herself with hormones multiple times a day, experienced injection pain and fatigue, and had to limit physical activity. Despite these challenges, she felt empowered and thankful for her body’s capabilities. The experience made her realize how much time and energy she had wasted in the past on criticizing her body’s appearance. This newfound appreciation for her body led to a sense of anger at herself for the self-criticism she had engaged in previously.
In conclusion, the writer’s decision to freeze her eggs led her to confront her deep-rooted insecurities and negative body image issues. Despite initial concerns about her appearance during the process, she found unexpected strength and empowerment throughout the journey. The experience challenged her to reevaluate her relationship with her body and appreciate its resilience. Ultimately, the egg freezing process shifted her perspective on self-image and taught her to embrace and celebrate her body for all that it is capable of.
