Dr. Andrew Thomas, a senior lecturer at Swansea University, has proposed a controversial new idea for addressing incels, a fringe group of mostly young men who are angry at women, sex, and society due to being involuntarily celibate. These men often blame women for their lack of a sex life. Thomas suggests that speed dating coaching could help these men develop basic social skills and potentially change their toxic views on women and dating. He believes that many of these men may have deficits in knowing how to form social relationships and that with help in this area, their negative views may be reduced.
Thomas clarified that his proposal is not just about getting these men laid, but rather about equipping them with the tools to form normal human connections. He pointed to research from Singapore that suggests dating coaching can improve the ability to connect for socially stunted men and potentially lead to the formation of longer-term relationships. The incel issue has gained mainstream attention, with a Netflix drama, Adolescence, shining a light on the darker corners of the manosphere. This has raised concerns among educators, lawmakers, and parents about how young boys are being drawn into a world of hatred and misogyny.
The idea behind speed dating coaching is not to magically fix every incel or quickly solve the complex societal issues that contribute to their beliefs. Thomas believes that by encouraging these men to re-engage with family members and female friends, they can be exposed to counterexamples of real women who are not one-dimensional but three-dimensional. This exposure may help these men see women in a more realistic and positive light, moving them away from their black-and-white views towards shades of grey. This approach may present a challenging path forward, but Thomas believes it is worth exploring to address the deep-seated issues within the incel community.
The incel issue has raised concerns globally, with UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer acknowledging that there is no simple solution to addressing the hatred and misogyny that pull boys into the incel movement. He recognizes that young men are being influenced by toxic ideologies and is seeking ways to prevent them from getting involved in harmful online communities. By providing support and guidance to these individuals, there is hope that progress can be made in changing their perceptions and behaviors. Thomas’ proposal of speed dating coaching is one pathway to potentially help these men develop healthier attitudes towards women and dating.
Thomas emphasizes that the focus of his proposal is on teaching incels how to establish healthy relationships and social connections rather than solely on helping them find sexual partners. By working on their social skills and interactions, these men can begin to see women in a more positive light and move away from their misogynistic views. While the idea of speed dating coaching may not be a complete solution to the deep-seated issues within the incel community, it represents a proactive approach to addressing the root causes of their toxic beliefs. It is important to continue exploring innovative strategies to support these individuals and guide them towards more positive and respectful attitudes towards women.
