A couple wrote to Dear Abby seeking advice on their two adult sons who have been in conflict for over a year. The middle son, Kurt, has been doing stand-up comedy while working a day job, and the younger son, Jared, has also started doing comedy. The disagreement between them escalated to name-calling, and they refuse to be in the same room together. Kurt has not attended family gatherings where Jared is present for over a year, but recently agreed to be civil. However, Jared refuses to be in the same room with Kurt until their issues are addressed. The parents are unsure of how to handle the situation.
The parents’ sons had a joint counseling session, which they found counterproductive. Kurt wants Jared to quit comedy, feeling it invades his life and friend circle, and has made mean comments about shared friends. Meanwhile, Jared has apologized to Kurt for his past behavior, which included excessive drinking and other destructive activities. The parents are concerned about the situation and are seeking guidance on how to deal with their adult sons who are unable to resolve their conflict on their own.
Dear Abby advises the parents that they can’t fix the situation between their sons, as they are adults who will need to reach a resolution on their own. She suggests continuing to invite both sons to family gatherings and hoping that Jared will eventually be more willing to mend the relationship. Abby acknowledges that comedy is a tough field and wishes for the best comedian to prevail in their ongoing conflict.
In another letter, a person writes to Dear Abby about their housekeeper of 30 years, who has been helping them maintain their home. With the writer now retired and the pandemic subsiding, they are considering cleaning the house themselves and ending the relationship with the housekeeper. The writer is unsure about how to handle the situation and what to owe the housekeeper for her loyalty and assistance over the years.
Dear Abby advises the writer to have a conversation with their housekeeper about their decision to take over the cleaning themselves. She suggests offering several months’ salary as a thank you for her loyalty and help. The writer can then ask if the housekeeper would be willing to visit once a month to catch any missed spots and to continue their friendship. Good housekeepers are hard to find, and the housekeeper may still be available to help occasionally if needed.
