First dates can often be awkward, especially when inappropriate questions are asked. In the pursuit of finding the perfect match, many individuals may lose their sense of tact. Questions about money, in particular, can make people uncomfortable, but because finances are an important aspect of compatibility, singles often want to know upfront if their potential partner shares similar spending and saving habits. According to dating coach Kelsey Wonderlin, who has counseled around 200 singles, most people care about the salary of their date, especially if they are seeking a long-term partnership. Women in finance, for example, may want someone who can keep up with their lifestyle.
While some individuals may have the skills to subtly inquire about money, others might directly ask about your salary. If faced with this question and feeling uncomfortable, there are several ways to respond, according to dating experts. Basic etiquette suggests that asking about finances on a first date is unacceptable, but it’s also unrealistic to ignore the importance of money in a relationship. Differences in spending habits could lead to lifestyle mismatches that are worth discussing. It’s important to express your boundaries if you are not comfortable revealing your salary, especially in the early stages of dating.
Rachel DeAlto, a dating expert at Plenty of Fish, emphasizes that it’s not necessary to delve into money conversations if you’re just casually dating. However, it’s possible to respond without feeling pressured to disclose specific financial details. Using vague answers such as “I make a living wage” or “My salary is pretty average, but I’m hoping to increase it within the next year” can help navigate the conversation. You can also turn the question around and ask why it is important to your date, in order to understand their perspective. Ultimately, it’s important to set boundaries and only share financial information if you feel comfortable doing so.
In some cases, being open about your salary on a first date could be a positive sign that you are with someone who is a good fit. However, it’s essential to trust your instincts and only reveal what you are comfortable sharing. Whether you choose to disclose your salary or keep it private, the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly in order to build a strong foundation for a potential relationship. By setting boundaries and respecting each other’s comfort levels, both individuals can navigate the topic of money effectively and determine if they are compatible in terms of their financial goals and values.
To further improve your financial literacy and confidence, CNBC offers an online course designed to help you hack your budget, reduce debt, and grow wealth. By signing up, you can gain practical strategies for mastering your money and feeling more successful in your financial endeavors. Additionally, subscribing to CNBC Make It’s newsletter can provide you with valuable tips and tricks for success in work, money management, and life. Taking steps to enhance your financial knowledge and communication skills can ultimately lead to more successful and fulfilling relationships.
