A single man with no siblings is struggling with the loss of his elderly father eight months ago and his mother, who is now in hospice with a life expectancy of weeks to months. Even though his parents lived long and productive lives, he is finding it difficult to cope with certain triggers that remind him of his parents, such as his father’s voice welcoming him home when he returned from the beach. People’s comments about his parents’ love for him also trigger his grief over the bond he had and has lost with them. He plans to seek counseling but is looking for advice on reducing the effects of these triggers.
In response, Dear Abby offers sympathy for the loss of the man’s father and suggests that he may need help coping with the pain of losing him, as well as dealing with his mother’s prognosis. It is recommended that he join a grief support group or seek help from a licensed psychotherapist if needed. The people helping his mother with hospice care may also provide resources for him to start coping with his grief. It is important not to delay seeking help and to start the process as soon as possible.
Another reader writes to Dear Abby asking how long they should give their partner to get a full-time job. The partner has been working as an adjunct professor for 17 years without benefits or a salary that can support the family. The reader has been working hard for over 10 years to provide for the family, and they are considering whether their partner should get an additional part-time job to bring in more income. Dear Abby advises the couple to consult a financial adviser and have a discussion about their situation. If the numbers don’t add up, the partner may need to consider other options to generate more income, but ultimatums should only be issued if they are prepared to follow through.
Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, suggests that the man consult a financial adviser and discuss the situation with his husband, who has been working as an adjunct professor for 17 years without benefits or a salary able to support the family. Even though the husband contributes in other ways, such as bringing in rental income and helping with the kids, the reader is considering whether the husband should get a full-time job or an additional part-time job to help with finances. Ultimatums should not be issued unless they are ready to follow through, as it is important to have a serious discussion and make decisions together with a financial adviser.
Overall, it is important for individuals dealing with grief over the loss of loved ones to seek support through grief support groups or psychotherapists. Coping with triggers that remind them of their loved ones can be a challenging process, but seeking help and guidance can assist in reducing the effects of these triggers over time. Additionally, seeking financial advice and having open discussions with partners about income and financial responsibilities can help resolve concerns about providing for the family. Ultimatums should be carefully considered and only issued if individuals are prepared to follow through with the consequences.
