In high school, the author struggled to fit in with the privileged, Southern, suburban environment that placed a heavy emphasis on athletics and conformity to societal norms. She clashed with a popular boy named Forest, who bullied her through elementary, middle, and high school. Despite her contrarian views and attempts to distance herself from the mainstream, she faced relentless teasing and cheating from Forest. However, she held onto dreams of escaping the closed-mindedness of her peers and becoming a successful novelist and poet, finding solace in the idea of leaving high school behind for college.
After leaving for college, the author found success, launching a popular blog that turned into a book and becoming well-known in her industry. She believed she had proven that she was more than the scared girl she once was. Meanwhile, Forest seemingly followed the path he had laid out in high school, becoming a successful businessman and family man. However, the author’s perception of the universe’s rules was shattered when she discovered that Forest had died in a plane crash at the age of 30. His sudden death challenged her understanding of life’s unfairness and senselessness.
Despite her own struggles with autoimmune diseases that almost killed her and left her in chronic pain, the author found herself dreaming about Forest being alive. In these dreams, he cheats death as he used to cheat off her in school, prompting the author to question what might have been for both of them if he had lived. As she navigates the daily challenges of living with chronic illness, she grapples with rewriting her life’s script in the face of unforeseen circumstances. Her days are now consumed with managing her health and wellbeing, with work on pause and daily tasks requiring careful energy calculations.
The dreams about Forest offer the author a glimpse into an alternate reality where both she and Forest could have had the chance to start over or find out who they could become. While Forest’s premature death represents a loss of potential and possibility, the author’s continued existence presents an opportunity to explore and accept the complexities of living with chronic illness. Despite the challenges and setbacks she faces, the author acknowledges the importance of embracing her reality and finding meaning and purpose in the face of unexpected circumstances. She reflects on the ways in which life diverges from childhood dreams and the resilience required to navigate unforeseen challenges.
